Short Story Preview: A Round with Alice
Do you remember when Michelle Wie and Annika Sorenstram had aspirations to challenge the men of the PGA Tour? I’m afraid this news came as a grave shock to Old Harry, Captain of our Seniors, when it was gleefully reported to him by the Lady Captain. Now, you must understand that Harry is not a misogynist – far from it. He trips the light fantastic with as many ladies as possible at the club’s annual dinner dance, and is a thoroughly modern man who can even operate a smart hone but not, of course, within ten miles of the clubhouse.
On the other hand Harry is of the school which believes that golf and women don’t mix. You can’t get him to say why exactly but he will never tee off behind a ladies’ four-ball, sniffs angrily if he hears a female voice when he is putting, and firmly believes that women shouldn’t be tolerated on the course at weekends which is the only time a working man can play. You should appreciate that Harry retired from a successful career in banking 23 years ago. Of course, Harry’s views cannot be justified today, can they? But, as one famous Asian professional golfer has proven since, he is not alone. For some reason, and I don’t know what it is, lady golfers often carry a fearsome reputation.
Old Harry usually parks his Saab near the Artisans’ hut, and the other day he overheard their Captain briefing his team before their annual match against the Ladies. ‘This fixture,’ he said, ‘is one we have had for many years, and one we value highly and don’t want to lose. So, for the benefit of those who haven’t played in it before, watch the language. If I were you I would put cotton wool in my ears!’