Short Story Preview: Letters to the Captain – Malcolm Allen
The role of Captain of a Golf Club is one of the most onerous offices that a sensible chap (or chapess) can be persuaded to accept. He is the focal point for all criticism, complaint and dissent and he must lead with a reasoned smile, a forever-open ear, and deep pockets. His situation is made worse by modern communication methods,
particularly Email, which allows unwarranted access at all hours of the day to his personal attention. Some correspondence is helpful but by no means all.
I am extremely grateful for the thought that the committee has put into the rules for the wearing of shorts by gentlemen players. I agree wholeheartedly
that they must be tailored, have no external pockets, buttons or thongs hanging off them like the buckskin breeches favoured by Red Indians in the Wild West, and that they must be knee-length. I also agree that shorts should be worn with long socks and that those rather effeminate looking ankle socks are banned.
However, not all can be said to be correct and by that I refer to the naked leg exhibited in the gap between the bottom of the shorts and the top of the sock. Some members, I have noticed, are not as careful about the tailoring as they should be thus exposing too great an expanse of knee and the flesh above and below it. The results are some extraordinarily grotesque sights. I suggest that the rules should be extended to say exactly how far above the kneecap shorts should extend and, similarly, how far below the kneecap the sock roll should begin.